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Leonard James

Catholic wedding.

Hi guys,

Please let it be clear that I am not singling out Catholicism, my opinion about it is the same as about all religions, but this joke was sent to me from NI made me fall about laughing, and I just had to share it.


On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get
married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Yet another month passed before St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat
bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work
out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here!

Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer
cyberman

Laughed out loud (embarassingly, as I am at work). Good one!
Shrub Dweller

Re: Catholic wedding.

Leonard James wrote:
Hi guys,

Please let it be clear that I am not singling out Catholicism, my opinion about it is the same as about all religions, but this joke was sent to me from NI made me fall about laughing, and I just had to share it.


On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get
married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?"

Yet another month passed before St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat
bedraggled.

"Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work
out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here!

Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer

Why did it take Peter so long to find a priest ? Isn't Jesus the High Priest and qualified for such procedures ?

Also, wouldn't divorce mean immediate transfer to hell ?
cyberman

Re: Catholic wedding.

Shrub Dweller wrote:

Also, wouldn't divorce mean immediate transfer to hell ?


>yawn<

Such profound ignorance.

Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

No you can't - but since when do you let facts get in the way of making a dick of yourself?
Shrub Dweller

Re: Catholic wedding.

cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

Also, wouldn't divorce mean immediate transfer to hell ?


>yawn<

Such profound ignorance.

Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

No you can't - but since when do you let facts get in the way of making a dick of yourself?

Tinman, you're the one making a monkey of yourself.

It was a response to a joke which included a priest, hence catholics, and therefore the traditional idea that catholics see divorce as being wrong.
cyberman

Re: Catholic wedding.

Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

Also, wouldn't divorce mean immediate transfer to hell ?


>yawn<

Such profound ignorance.

Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

No you can't - but since when do you let facts get in the way of making a dick of yourself?

Tinman, you're the one making a monkey of yourself.

It was a response to a joke which included a priest, hence catholics, and therefore the traditional idea that catholics see divorce as being wrong.


You hate tricky questions don't you?
Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?
Shrub Dweller

Re: Catholic wedding.

cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

Also, wouldn't divorce mean immediate transfer to hell ?


>yawn<

Such profound ignorance.

Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

No you can't - but since when do you let facts get in the way of making a dick of yourself?

Tinman, you're the one making a monkey of yourself.

It was a response to a joke which included a priest, hence catholics, and therefore the traditional idea that catholics see divorce as being wrong.


You hate tricky questions don't you?
Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

And you seem to have a blind spot about jokes.

I hope Santa gets you a funny bone for Christmas because you need it !!
cyberman

Re: Catholic wedding.

Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

Also, wouldn't divorce mean immediate transfer to hell ?


>yawn<

Such profound ignorance.

Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

No you can't - but since when do you let facts get in the way of making a dick of yourself?

Tinman, you're the one making a monkey of yourself.

It was a response to a joke which included a priest, hence catholics, and therefore the traditional idea that catholics see divorce as being wrong.


You hate tricky questions don't you?
Can you find any religion which teaches that divorce results in going to hell?

And you seem to have a blind spot about jokes.

I hope Santa gets you a funny bone for Christmas because you need it !!


The problem is that you have never ever posted anything remotely funny.

Still dodging the tricky question, I see.

At school I suppose you would act up to get yourself sent out so no-one would see your ignorance.
Shrub Dweller

Re: Catholic wedding.

cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

And you seem to have a blind spot about jokes.

I hope Santa gets you a funny bone for Christmas because you need it !!


The problem is that you have never ever posted anything remotely funny.

Still dodging the tricky question, I see.

At school I suppose you would act up to get yourself sent out so no-one would see your ignorance.

Is this you version of humour ?

Did Santa oblige and brought you a funny bone for Xmas, tinman ?

Will we be seeing a less uptight Cyberman from now on ? I hope so.

Perhaps you haven't quite got the hang of your new toy yet, but don't give up, keep trying, and you will soon understand how to be part of the human race, and follow why this post is so amusing.  
cyberman

Re: Catholic wedding.

Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

And you seem to have a blind spot about jokes.

I hope Santa gets you a funny bone for Christmas because you need it !!


The problem is that you have never ever posted anything remotely funny.

Still dodging the tricky question, I see.

At school I suppose you would act up to get yourself sent out so no-one would see your ignorance.

Is this you version of humour ?

Did Santa oblige and brought you a funny bone for Xmas, tinman ?

Will we be seeing a less uptight Cyberman from now on ? I hope so.

Perhaps you haven't quite got the hang of your new toy yet, but don't give up, keep trying, and you will soon understand how to be part of the human race, and follow why this post is so amusing.  


still no answer...
Shrub Dweller

Re: Catholic wedding.

cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:

And you seem to have a blind spot about jokes.

I hope Santa gets you a funny bone for Christmas because you need it !!


The problem is that you have never ever posted anything remotely funny.

Still dodging the tricky question, I see.

At school I suppose you would act up to get yourself sent out so no-one would see your ignorance.

Is this you version of humour ?

Did Santa oblige and brought you a funny bone for Xmas, tinman ?

Will we be seeing a less uptight Cyberman from now on ? I hope so.

Perhaps you haven't quite got the hang of your new toy yet, but don't give up, keep trying, and you will soon understand how to be part of the human race, and follow why this post is so amusing.  


still no answer...

Oh dear, tinman is still a little uptight.

Perhaps you haven't installed your funny bone correctly. Try reading the manual again, perhaps you've left a screw loose somewhere ?
cyberman

Re: Catholic wedding.

Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:

At school I suppose you would act up to get yourself sent out so no-one would see your ignorance.

Is this you version of humour ?


No, Shrub Dweller, it is a comment on your tragic life.

I am sorry you did so badly at school. Now you are a grown up you can blame others ("school let me down" is always a good euphemism for "I always fucked about at school so I achieved nothing").

Keep your chin up. I am sure you have some charming qualities.
Shrub Dweller

Re: Catholic wedding.

cyberman wrote:
Shrub Dweller wrote:
cyberman wrote:

At school I suppose you would act up to get yourself sent out so no-one would see your ignorance.

Is this you version of humour ?


No, Shrub Dweller, it is a comment on your tragic life.

Well that's a shame, this is the Jokes thread. This humour thing seems to be passing you by Cyber.

Quote:
I am sorry you did so badly at school. Now you are a grown up you can blame others ("school let me down" is always a good euphemism for "I always fucked about at school so I achieved nothing").

Am afriad you have got me all wrong

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