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Confession is good for the soul

A married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, "Bless me father, for I have sinned ... I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said "What do you mean, 'almost'?"

The man said, "Well, we got undressed and just sort of ... well, rubbed about a bit together, but then we stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is just the same as putting it in. You're never to see that woman again. For your penance, say twenty Hail Marys and put 50 in the poor box."

The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest quickly ran over to him saying, "I was watching and I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The man replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the 50 on the box and according to you that's the same as putting it in."


A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church, sits down in a confessional box and says nothing.

The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."
The Littlest Homo

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