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Farmer Geddon

Hell

So I die and I end up in HELL .... Once I get to the gates there is a maître d'hôtel there waiting to greet me. "Welcome to Hell" he said in a happy voice.

I look at him rather puzzled; I'm supposed to be "happy" to spend my eternity here? But we walk through the gates anyway.

"How was your trip? Not too hard on ya I hope." said the maître d'hôtel.

"It was OK." I replied, still a little puzzled.

"Well OK here's the grand tour." the maître d'hôtel continued,

"Over here we have an all night casino where you always win.

Over there is the hotel where you will be spending your eternity, furnished with all the luxuries you can possibly dream of.

And in the back there is an all night restaurant filled with all the most beautiful women you can imagine and are ready to do your every bidding and of course the food is great also."

"Nah, nah, nah.. WAIT a minute!" I said, completely confused.

"Yes?" said the maître d'hôtel.

"This is hell right? This is MY eternity, but it's full of everything I ever wanted?

I thought Hell was supposed to suck ass or something."

"Well...heaven has greater and better things than us down here, but they are basically the same thing." said the maître d'hôtel.

Still scratching me head, I continue to walk down the road with him.

Then we come across this pit of fire full of people screaming and suffering all sorts of unpleasant things stuffed up their anus'.

I paused and exclaimed "Whoa. Whoa, whoa... What in hell is that?"

"Oh that." said the maître d'hôtel nonchalantly,

"That is the quote 'fire and brimstone' room... It's where you'll find aTruster and his ilk..... well it's what they wanted after all!!!"
Samuel Vimes

Re: Hell

Farmer Geddon wrote:
So I die and I end up in HELL .... Once I get to the gates there is a maître d'hôtel there waiting to greet me. "Welcome to Hell" he said in a happy voice.

I look at him rather puzzled; I'm supposed to be "happy" to spend my eternity here? But we walk through the gates anyway.

"How was your trip? Not too hard on ya I hope." said the maître d'hôtel.

"It was OK." I replied, still a little puzzled.

"Well OK here's the grand tour." the maître d'hôtel continued,

"Over here we have an all night casino where you always win.

Over there is the hotel where you will be spending your eternity, furnished with all the luxuries you can possibly dream of.

And in the back there is an all night restaurant filled with all the most beautiful women you can imagine and are ready to do your every bidding and of course the food is great also."

"Nah, nah, nah.. WAIT a minute!" I said, completely confused.

"Yes?" said the maître d'hôtel.

"This is hell right? This is MY eternity, but it's full of everything I ever wanted?

I thought Hell was supposed to suck ass or something."

"Well...heaven has greater and better things than us down here, but they are basically the same thing." said the maître d'hôtel.

Still scratching me head, I continue to walk down the road with him.

Then we come across this pit of fire full of people screaming and suffering all sorts of unpleasant things stuffed up their anus'.

I paused and exclaimed "Whoa. Whoa, whoa... What in hell is that?"

"Oh that." said the maître d'hôtel nonchalantly,

"That is the quote 'fire and brimstone' room... It's where you'll find aTruster and his ilk..... well it's what they wanted after all!!!"


I'd stick to the day job if you don't want to go hungry.

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