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Farmer Geddon

Metro

I was sitting on the bus home after a good sesh, stinking of beer and whiskey, me tie and shirt stained with curry, I had lipstick on me collar, ears and face. I had a half drunk bottle of vodka sitting in my pocket for when I got home when a priest got on at the next stop and sat beside me.

Why, I'm not sure - when he saw the state of me, he had the face of a skelpped arse.

So I took out the 'Metro' I had in my other pocket and started to read it.

After a few minutes I turned to the priest and slurred, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bath." he replied

"Well, I'll be damned," I muttered, and returned to reading the Metro

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged me and apologised.

"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.....

How long have you had arthritis?"

"Oh I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

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