Witty one liners:If all is not lost, where is it?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
So what's the speed of dark?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
The things that come to those that wait may well be the things left by those who got there first.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight, do you know why that is?
They don't fancy each other.
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children.
Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
I'm not worried about the Third World War.
That's the Third World's Problem.
Confucius He Say:
Passionate kiss like spider's web will soon lead to undoing of fly.
Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Man who run in front of car get tired
Man who run behind car get exhausted
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day
Man with hands in both pockets - he no feel too cocky
[Feel free to add your favourites]
If you can't beat them ... what's the point in having kids in the first place?
Definition of a Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
"I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner."
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
The Questions which ask Why?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Logic of a drinker.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content
If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Beer - Helping ugly people have sex since 1881
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
I swear to drunk I'm not God!"
Word to the Wise.
Beware of the toes you step on today.
They could be attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.
witty one liners.
I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
One fr NGL - You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted,
then used against you.
Man who sit on tack get point!
Same site I believe... Just thought I would add some more.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. (always makes me laugh)
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Multitasking for men means screwing up several things at once.
Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.