nglreturns.myfreeforum.org Forum Index nglreturns.myfreeforum.org
Nglreturns is a forum to discuss religion, philosophy, ethics etc...

NGLReturns Daily Quiz - Play here!
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   Join! (free) Join! (free)
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 


The Western Wall

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    nglreturns.myfreeforum.org Forum Index -> Jokes
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Please Register and Login to this forum to stop seeing this advertising.






Posted:     Post subject:

Back to top
Shaker
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Aug 2008
Posts: 8694



PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:39 am    Post subject: The Western Wall  Reply with quote

Jewish humour at its mordant best.

It comes to the attention of the world's media that there's a 113 year-old man, a Jerusalem resident, who has been praying at the Western Wall every day - more than once a day in fact - for a full hundred years, ever since his bar mitzvah (the age at which a boy becomes a man according to Judaism).

So Fox, CNN, the BBC, Tass, Reuters, in fact the whole of the world's news media despatch their correspondents to Jerusalem to see this super-centenarian marvel. The Western Wall is stiff with film cameras, photographic cameras are clicking away and the area before the Wall is thronged with microphone-wielding reporters from around the globe. One young female BBC journalist manages to push to the front of the scrum where she finds a tiny, wizened old man, kippah (skullcap) and tallis (prayer shawl) and all, siddur (prayer book) in hands.

"Excuse me, sir," she says, "I wonder if I might have a few moments of your time?"

"Of course you may, young lady," he replies.

"Is it really true that you've been praying here at the Western Wall every single day without fail for a whole century?"

"This is so, young lady. I get up at four thirty every morning, say my morning prayers at home, wash and have a glass of tea and then I come here for six o'clock. I pray for peace all the world over - I ask the good Lord that all wars may end and that no others come along in their place. I pray for peace and friendship between all the peoples of the world and especially between the different religions, whatever their beliefs. I pray that the human race can put their differences aside and learn to live together as one human family regardless of race, creed or colour. That takes me up to lunchtime, then I go home and have a little snack and a glass of milk and a lie down for an hour, then I come back here and pray to the good Lord until nightfall for an end to hunger and disease and poverty and ignorance - that nobody, especially children, need go without food and clean water and good health."

"And you've been doing this without fail for one hundred years straight? Every day?"

"This is so, young lady. Even when I've been sick - and my health has always been good, thank the good Lord - even on the day when my beloved Rivka died ... oh, many years ago now."

"My goodness! And may I ask, sir, how does that make you feel?"

"Honestly? Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."
_________________
There’s no reason to be agnostic about ideas that are dramatically incompatible with everything we know about modern science. - Sean M. Carroll
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Leonard James
Senior Community Member


Joined: 19 Jan 2009
Posts: 3963


Location: Spain

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 7:24 am    Post subject: Re: The Western Wall Reply with quote

Shaker wrote:
Jewish humour at its mordant best.

It comes to the attention of the world's media that there's a 113 year-old man, a Jerusalem resident, who has been praying at the Western Wall every day - more than once a day in fact - for a full hundred years, ever since his bar mitzvah (the age at which a boy becomes a man according to Judaism).

So Fox, CNN, the BBC, Tass, Reuters, in fact the whole of the world's news media despatch their correspondents to Jerusalem to see this super-centenarian marvel. The Western Wall is stiff with film cameras, photographic cameras are clicking away and the area before the Wall is thronged with microphone-wielding reporters from around the globe. One young female BBC journalist manages to push to the front of the scrum where she finds a tiny, wizened old man, kippah (skullcap) and tallis (prayer shawl) and all, siddur (prayer book) in hands.

"Excuse me, sir," she says, "I wonder if I might have a few moments of your time?"

"Of course you may, young lady," he replies.

"Is it really true that you've been praying here at the Western Wall every single day without fail for a whole century?"

"This is so, young lady. I get up at four thirty every morning, say my morning prayers at home, wash and have a glass of tea and then I come here for six o'clock. I pray for peace all the world over - I ask the good Lord that all wars may end and that no others come along in their place. I pray for peace and friendship between all the peoples of the world and especially between the different religions, whatever their beliefs. I pray that the human race can put their differences aside and learn to live together as one human family regardless of race, creed or colour. That takes me up to lunchtime, then I go home and have a little snack and a glass of milk and a lie down for an hour, then I come back here and pray to the good Lord until nightfall for an end to hunger and disease and poverty and ignorance - that nobody, especially children, need go without food and clean water and good health."

"And you've been doing this without fail for one hundred years straight? Every day?"

"This is so, young lady. Even when I've been sick - and my health has always been good, thank the good Lord - even on the day when my beloved Rivka died ... oh, many years ago now."

"My goodness! And may I ask, sir, how does that make you feel?"

"Honestly? Like I'm talking to a fucking wall."


             

Oh man ... that made me roar! Thank you!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
trentvoyager
Moderator


Joined: 05 Jul 2009
Posts: 2570


Location: Nottingham, United Kingdom

PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not often people type this and mean it - but on this occasion I do:

LOL  


_________________
Wasn't Billy Liar a great play.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    nglreturns.myfreeforum.org Forum Index -> Jokes All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Card File  Gallery  Forum Archive
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
Create your own free forum | Buy a domain to use with your forum